Dec 7
Changes and Constants
by LeAnne Fowler

Christmas holds a kind of bittersweet quality for me.  Christmas shopping always brings to mind the changes in life that have happened during that year and through the years.  I learned when Jennifer was young that January birthday presents had to be purchased while Christmas shopping, as stores did not restock toys until February.  Now I almost miss the shopping on the pink aisle.  Even though I have often added names to my list, I miss the presents no longer needed as grandparents have passed.  Christmas seems to remind me of changes. 

I sang on my first Living Christmas Tree 23 years ago.  I was fairly new out of college, active in the church’s singles department and had joined the church choir a few months before.  My life has changed a great deal from my first tree.  On my fifth Tree, I was “great with child”, as my first child was due in January.  Five years later expecting my youngest, I sat in the bushes, as I was even “greater” with him.  When my three were small, by December they knew all the songs since I practiced a lot in my car.  The Tree has been my constant at Christmas.  Though the songs change, the peace I gain remains the same.  As the hustle and bustle of the season bogs me down with to-do-lists, shopping, cooking, etc; I sometimes get so caught up in memorizing the words and the notes that I overlook their meaning.  Up on the Christmas Tree, singing in the dark, I hear the words.  I have seen the “angels spill over Heaven’s edge and fill the air.”  I have wondered about “a weary woman and a worried man.”  I have felt God’s majesty in the eight-part chords in “Holy Radiant Night”.  Some songs have brought smiles, others contemplation, a few tears.  No matter how hectic the day has been or tired I feel, once on the Tree I feel restored.

Almost five years ago, my life changed dramatically when Jennifer was critically injured in a car wreck.  Christmas shopping that year was difficult because I wanted to buy for an almost 15 year old who was still in catch up mode of having to relearn everything.  My life had been taken over by therapy sessions and doctors’ appointments.  That year, the Living Christmas Tree was my respite, my sustainer, and my constant when all around me seemed to be changing out of control.   Jennifer is still in catch up mode.  The kids she grew up with have graduated and headed off to college.  Part of me misses not being able to miss her.  This year, though, Jennifer is joining me on the Tree.  It will take some practice but she cannot wait to climb up in the Tree and sing.  My constant will change but it will be richer.  Maybe next year we can get Sarah on the Tree with us!

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  Psalm 51: 12