Health Ministry Focus: August 2001
"The Sandwich Generation"

This month our health ministry is focused on those adults caught in an " in between place ".... caring for children and aging parents. This task can be a profound blessing and also very difficult. As we are blessed with longer life, many of us also live with more chronic health problems, associated disability and difficulties in providing for our daily needs. God's word calls us to honor our parents and help in providing for their needs (Ex 20:12;Eph. 6:1-3). At the same time, the needs of a spouse and children also may call out to us. Or, maybe, we are a single adult with no siblings to share the responsibilities. God's word encourages us to care, nurture and discipline our children out of love for them (Prov 22: 6; Mark 10:13-14). Currently in the US, almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce and child abuse and neglect have risen astronomically. The average child watches four hours of TV everyday with a vast majority of this exposed to language, values, relationships, and actions not consistent with our faith. Most families are able to spend very little time in quality communications or doing things together

How can we live our family commitments in a God-pleasing way? God's Word gives us guidance, support and hope as we live out our days in His Grace. First, we need to continue to feed ourselves spiritually so that God can use us in our relationships with others. Living a balanced life provides benefit for this life and the life to come. With our fast pace lives, it is very easy to neglect our own physical, emotional and spiritual self-care. Second, we can trust the Lord to provide for all of our needs, because He cares for us (1 Peter 5: 7).

In our mobile society, aging parents may live miles away, which adds to the stresses. It is possible to help aging parents by keeping in touch and building a network of support. The following are seven tips that can provide adult children ways to give assistance to aging parents with out having to sacrifice their own lives (taken from an article in USA Today by Tom Anderson.

1. Keep in regular contact. Write or call at least once a week at regular scheduled time. It your parents are experiencing a hearing loss; make sure they have a high-quality amplified phone to improve communication. Depending on your budget and their interests, consider buying a cell phone, fax machine, or computer with e-mail capabilities.
   
   
2. Assign family roles. If you have siblings, share responsibilities for helping your parents by assigning responsibilities for legal, financial. Medical and other issues. You don't have to be a lawyer, accountant, or doctor to help with the basics.
   
   
3. Help them stay socially connected. Arrange for a friend, neighbor, or family member to visit your parents as often as possible, but at least once a week. If you have trouble finding someone dependable, contact a community church or senior' advocacy group for recommendations.
   
   
4. Provide entertainment opportunities/ Subscribe to your parents' hometown newspaper and alert them to upcoming events. If money is a concern, buy tickets and transportation as birthday gifts for movies, concerts, exhibits, and sporting and cultural events.
   
   
5. Help them manage routine tasks. Arrange for regular grocery and meal deliveries from local restaurants or senior' meal programs. Contract with a dependable, professional service for lawn care and/or snow removal. Hire a handyman on a retainer basis for routine maintenance. Offer to pay for a regular scheduled cleaning service.
   
   
6. Conduct safety inventories. When you visit, take an inventory of your parent's home. Make note of what needs fixing or replacing and what could pose a threat to their health or safety (frayed electrical cords, slippery floors, loose handrails, throw rugs, etc.)
   
   
7. Research resources. Most communities offer programs through senior citizen center, churches and shopping and entertainment outlets. Contact these organizations for more information about local opportunities for seniors. Senior centers offer extensive programs of activities, including guest speakers, dances and parties, organized book/discussion groups, and outings to museums, shows, sporting events, etc.

One of the hardest parts of trying to assist your aging parents from a distance is monitoring their health. It is not uncommon for parents no even to tell their children if they are hospitalized. While senior health conditions can be subtle and hard to detect, there are several warning signs. Any of the following could signal the start of a situation that needs attention:

1. Changes in daily routines. Are they getting up later in the morning, taking more naps, and /or going to bed early? Are they skipping meals or forgoing other routines like reading, writing letters, taking walks?
   
   
2. Changes in hygiene habits. Do they seem indifferent to their appearance? Are they skipping showers, wearing the same clothes several days in a row, and/or letting basic housekeeping chores go undone?
   
   
3. Sudden weight loss or gain. Have they gained or lost weight with our significant changes in their exercise patterns?
   
   
4. Unexplained mood swings. Do everyday problems cause emotional outbursts or dramatic changes in mood and outlook?
   
   
5. Bouts of forgetfulness. Watch for patterns of forgetfulness that g beyond occasionally misplacing items. Do they seem disoriented or confused in familiar environments?
   
   
6. Expressions of hopelessness and depression. Watch and listen for expressions of guilt or suicide, as well as changes in appetite, concentration, and interest in normal activities and special events.
   
   
7. Displays of fearfulness and anxiety. Do they put off making doctor's appointments, leaving their house, paying bills, and/or meeting new people? Besides monitoring behavioral changes carefully, make sure your parents understand you are on their side. If you notice changes, talk with them. Health problems are most frightening when people feel they are facing them alone.

References & Resources

Astor, B. (1998), Baby Boomer's Guide to Caring for Aging Parents. New Orkney Macmillan USA

Meyer (1994) Life in the Sandwich Generation. St. Louis, MO, Concordia Publishing House(a four session Bible study suitable for individuals or groups)
(www.cph.org or 1-800-325-3040)

Health-Center.com (www.health-center.com)

www.aarp.org